Lily's Birth

(Addie)

This is my first blog post!! I don’t start small either. This is the story about Lily’s birth, and I am using it as my own journal as well because I don’t want to write it twice. If you have a lot of free time some time you might get through it, otherwise I don’t really expect anyone to read the whole thing. I finished writing it on Sunday July 10, 2011.....

This pregnancy with my Lily has been so easy compared to my first with Jackson. I was sick right at the beginning but as the second trimester came around I wasn’t sick and got my energy back. I finally saw how some people didn’t mind being pregnant and even liked it. I feel blessed because I was not only still working full time but had a very busy toddler at home to take care of after work. I knew she was a girl because of the huge difference in pregnancies.

The whole pregnancy we watched how big Lily was getting because we knew she couldn’t get too big or she wouldn’t fit out. My due date was July 22, but my doctor, Anne Blackett, said if I hadn’t had her by the 18^th they would induce me. My little sister Kristina (Stina) is also due with a little girl on July 12^th.

I’m going to start my play by play on July 6^th because it had some foreshadowing for me.

July 6^th

I had gotten home a little late because I had gone to a relief society activity with my mom. Chris had just gotten home from work. We put Jackson to bed and I stayed up talking with Chris for a while and then had a feeling that I should start packing my hospital bag. It was weird because I wasn’t due for another few weeks and I wasn’t having any contractions or anything. I tried going to sleep but just kept feeling like I needed to get some stuff ready, and that for some reason this would be my last night at home without my new baby.

I started getting my clothes ready and an outfit for Lily. I went downstairs to look up a list on the computer and Chris was watching ‘the Social Network’. I got sucked into the movie and watched the whole thing. It made me hate facebook, but that’s another story. After the movie Chris and I said our prayers and I felt prompted to tell him that I would need a blessing the next day after work so he had some time to think about it.

It was really late, around 1:00 am and I really wanted to go to sleep, but when I laid down I couldn’t relax. I still kept feeling this would be my last night at home with no baby, and then thinking myself crazy for feeling that. I dug up all my old breast pump kits and checked to see that they were working still. I needed a few new parts. I walked around upstairs and into Lily’s room just imagining her being there. It was a very restless night and I probably went to sleep at 2:30 am.

July 7^th

I woke up hearing Jackson at about 6:30 am and brought him in bed with me until my alarm went off at 7:00. I got up, got ready, grabbed my breast pumps that I needed replacement parts for and then headed off for work. All morning I felt a little stressed just thinking about how I might be having a baby this weekend. I was really trying to calm down, and I was really tired and needed sleep. I had an ultrasound at 11:30 so that we could check how the baby was growing. The ultrasound tec said that Lily was really small and a few more weeks wouldn’t make the baby too big to have a natural delivery. I left feeling more calm and that we would have a few more weeks of pregnancy. I went back to work until my appointment at 2:45 with Anne. When the nurse took me back, she asked how things were going and then casually told me that there had been talks of me having the baby today. I just looked at her and tried to figure out if she was joking. I laughed and asked, What?? The nurse said couldn’t remember exactly why because there were a few people who were going to be induced that day so she would go and find out.

She left me absolutely stunned and went to find out why she had just dropped a bombshell on me. She returned and gave me no reason to stay calm when she said “It’s just a little syndrome called IUG, it’s not a big deal, Anne will explain it but then we’ll probably have you head over to the hospital.” All I could say is “Oh my gosh” and the nurse told me Anne would be in soon. I have never heard of a syndrome called IUG and I began panicking. I texted my mom, sister and Chris and told them to keep their phones close because I might have to go be induced and then sat there trying to breathe. My feelings were fearful and worried, was this really not a big deal? And if it wasn’t a big deal then why the sudden inducement? Was Lily okay? It didn’t help that I stayed alone in that room for nearly 20 minutes before Anne came in.

She came in and smiled and asked if I was ready to have my baby. I tried to stay light and said “Maybe I can schedule it in”. She was starting to explain when my mom came in, I was grateful that she came and then not so much when I saw her face, because of course right when I looked at her I started to cry. Moms can have that affect. I calmed down quickly and we listened to my doctor. IUG basically means that the baby has stopped growing in the womb possibly from my placenta no longer working. At my appointment the week before Anne mentioned that I was measuring small but wasn’t too worried because I will probably have small children. Then, after the ultrasound which said Lily was only 5 lb 4 oz she realized this IUG could be happening. She explained that Lily would grow better now on the outside than on the inside. Lily so far wasn’t showing any signs of distress (they could tell that if my fluids had been low) but Anne didn’t want to wait for that distress to happen. She told me I could choose to go to the hospital right then, wait until the evening, or go in the morning. Chris was calling at that moment and so I started to talk to him and Anne stepped out of the room. I started crying again as I was explaining, Chris asked me if I was scared and I said yes.

I told him the options that we had about when to have her and his next question was “How did Stina’s appointment go this morning?” Chris has been so concerned about Stina and Joey the whole time we’ve been pregnant, wanting them to get the attention from being pregnant and also wanting them to have their baby first since they wanted to have the first girl grandchild and we didn’t mind either way. It’s been really sweet to see him like that. Stina had had her membranes stripped but had been told that it would probably be another week. That made Chris worry but he knew we didn’t have a choice. He thought maybe waiting until the morning would be good because we could have more time to get ready, but I was already so exhausted from no sleep the night before I really couldn’t imagine another night of no sleep from stress and worry about my baby. We decided to come back in the evening.

I went back to work to turn in a time sheet and explain what was happening. I love the girls I work with; they helped me calm down and told me everything would work out. They have always been so supportive and caring. My mom had Jackson then and just took him to her house so I could get ready without him running around. On my way home I got a text from Chris’ sister Wendi telling me that she put our names in the temple in Raleigh. That got me crying, I was so thankful. Later I found out that my mom had called the Ogden temple (Logan is closed) to put our names in, and also some friends of Stina who live in Provo put our names in the temple there. I felt so loved and thought about, I knew those prayers were going to help. I was dazed as I finished packing from the night before, I’m thankful there are packing lists online for such occasions.

Chris got home and got his things packed. I watered my garden and my flowers. I was told to call the hospital at 6:00 pm and they would tell me when to come in. I called and they said they were really busy and to call back at 7:00 pm. Chris gave me a blessing that helped me feel the love of our Heavenly Father and also to know that whatever happened was His will. We finished getting ready and headed over to my parents house to drop off Jackson’s bag and eat some dinner. (When I had called the hospital they told me to make sure I ate something.) We got to my parents around 7:00 pm so I called the hospital and they said to come in at 8:00 pm. I ate a little and tried cuddling with Jackson.

We got to the hospital and got checked in and shown to a room. There was a lot of prep work before they could start giving me the Pitocin and starting the labor. My nurse was really nice, but she went right through one of my veins trying to get the IV in me. I have a nice big bruise for that. She finally got a good vein and started the IV around 9:30. I had tested positive for the Group B strep so I had fluids, antibiotics, and the Pitocin. I tried sleeping before the contractions got too bad but I still couldn’t rest enough to get to sleep.

Chris had Norah Jones playing on his computer and that was helping us both relax. Here’s the sequence of events:

9:30 contractions starting but not even hard enough for me to feel.

10:00 Anne broke my water, it was a weird feeling I hadn’t felt with Jackson. I was feeling nauseous but really didn’t know why, and a little while later all my dinner came up. Yuck.

July 8th

12:00 a.m. I was dilated to a two and the contractions began to get harder. I got a pain killer because I wanted to wait longer to get an epidural. I threw up again and decided it would be good if I took some Zofran through my IV, which made my stomach much better. Zofran and I are really good friends.

From 12:00 to 2:00 I was at a 3, and the contractions really started to get hard and very painful. I was surprised because with Jackson I had never felt any this hard and I didn’t get an epidural with him until I was at a 5. Chris was holding my hand through them and decided it might be good if I got a stress ball. I was squeezing pretty hard. I decided it was time for an epidural if I wanted to get any rest. I forgot how much the initial sting of the ‘numbing shot’ hurt, but within 10 minutes it was worth it.

I was a little disappointed in myself for getting one so early since I had a goal to wait until I was at a 5 or so, but it turns out it was good I didn’t wait. I got a really low dose and ended up pushing the button once to cover up the pain a little more.

4:00 a.m. I was at a four and my mom came. I had been unable to sleep even with the epidural because I had such a low dose and I wanted to make sure I would be able to feel to push. Since I was progressing so slowly Chris decided to go home to try to get some sleep since he couldn’t get any there. He left around 4:30. And I was still dilated to a 4. I was glad my mom came; she just talked to me and was enjoying watching all the contractions on the machine. They started getting really close together and still pretty painful for me.

5:15 a.m. Lily’s monitor wasn’t picking her up anymore so I called the nurse so we could find her again. The contractions had for several minutes been very close and hadn’t really gone away in between. I was feeling a lot of pressure as well. The nurse said that she wasn’t supposed to check me for another 20 minutes, but would check me then anyway. As soon as she put her finger in, she asked how far away we lived and we better call Chris right away because Lily’s head was half an inch from coming out. I had gone from a 4 to fully dilated and ready to push in 45 minutes.

My mom called Chris, and the nurse called Anne. Anne was there by 5:30 and said we could wait a few more minutes for Chris. He got there around 5:40 and I started pushing. Anne was looking at me and asked the nurse to take my temperature- I had a fever. Pushing this time was easier, I could feel a lot more and also I had it in my head that she was a lot smaller and should fit a lot easier than Jackson did. Chris had one of my legs, the nurse the other, and my mom was giving me ice chips.

6:07 a.m. Lily was born. I was so happy, they brought her right up to me and that had been what I wanted so badly. I helped clean her off and talked to her, she looked so beautiful. At one point I thought I could see my little brother in her face. They wanted to check her out right away, so the nurse took her and did all those little check-off things. When they put her on the scale I was blown away to see she weighed 6-5, a pound heavier than the ultrasound had said and only 7 ounces smaller than Jackson. I had a first-degree tear that only took 2 stitches to fix.

They told me they would probably have to give her antibiotics since I had a fever, but that she could stay with us for an hour. I was really anxious to get to hold her again, and my nurse kept trying to get my blood pressure. I guess it was really high and she asked if I had a headache. I did but I hadn’t noticed it until she asked about it. They were concerned but I didn’t care, I just wanted to have Lily. Finally they gave her to me and we did skin to skin for a while and tried breastfeeding. She tried and would get on for a few sucks and then just get off.

My mom held her for a few minutes and so did Chris. Jerry and Kathy were able to get on Skype and see her, which was really neat.

The NICU nurse came in and said she needed to take Lily and I made Chris go with them. I hadn’t put it together that she would have to go to the NICU to get the antibiotics and then was surprised again when they said she’d have to be there for 24 hours. I was sad, another NICU baby. At least, however, with Lily there was nothing wrong, they were being preventative. She never got a fever and all of her blood work came back perfectly every time. There was no infection inside for her to fight. My parents brought Jackson once and we were able to hold Lily up to the window for Jackson to see her. He ended up just pointing to me and saying “mama” and not paying any attention to Lily.

All day Friday she had no interest in eating so I pumped to help keep a supply and encourage production. Finally on Friday night around 11:00 she latched on and ate on both sides really well. She is a really good sucker and a good eater, so much different than Jackson who wouldn’t really suck and was super slow.

She has eaten well ever since.

July 9th
 Saturday morning she got to come up to our room and we spent the day resting and enjoying her company. Jackson got to finally hold his little sister and he absolutely lovers her! He is pretty protective, he got mad when Stina was holding her and I wasn’t. We got some really great pictures, he is really sweet with her.

Saturday night Chris, Lily and I watched Megamind. Chris ended up leaving half way through to go home and sleep. That night went pretty well, the nurses came in to check on Lily and me every now and then and took her a few times to check blood pressure and for jaundice. Everything was always perfect.

Our pediatrician Dr. Horkley had been on vacation for the past few days. I was sad because I had wanted to talk to him about Lily, not a doctor I had never met before. He was there Sunday morning though and came in to check on her. He gave her the go ahead to come home and said she looked great.

Now we are at home and Jackson still loves his sister and is doing well considering all the changes. We all have a lot to learn with this new little angel here but I feel so blessed that she is here and that everything went so well. I am so thankful for all the prayers and thoughts that were with us throughout everything and I know that Heavenly Father was pouring out blessings on us because of those prayers. Lily is a joy and blessing to have in our home.

We named her Lily because it is my favorite flower. I think they are absolutely gorgeous. Chris loves them too so it was easy to choose that name. We have been saving it for a few years now. Her middle name is Ella, after her great great grandmother. Ella is an amazing woman who is strong in spirit and in body. She is going to turn 100 this September. She lives in Oregon in an assisted living center and is the instructor for an exercise class every morning. She loves doing things with her hands and has always made us things. I have scarves, slippers, quilts, and now she has made blankets for each of my children. She always remembers our birthdays even though she has a lot of grandchildren. As a child I remember going to her house in Idaho for a few Easters and other various times. She would play with us and we always liked going to her house. Unfortunately lately her health has been declining and we aren’t sure how much longer she will be with us. I called her a few hours ago to tell her our news and that our baby would have her name. She was happy and grateful, and then said “I hope you call her Lily.” I told her that we loved her name and that we loved her.

The next few weeks and months will be our testing time. Chris goes back to work tomorrow. My mom has offered to come help tomorrow and I will take her up on that. My parents kept Jackson the whole time we were in the hospital and I am so thankful for their help. They are the best! Jackson loves them so much and had a great time with grandma and papa.

Now we are eagerly waiting to meet Hazel, my sister’s baby who will hopefully come any day now.